Monday, December 3, 2012

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" a la State Senator Ted Lieu

State Senator Ted Lieu (D-Torrance) has left the voters in his senate district and the state a number of legislative presents over the course of his tenure in office.
Instead of breaking his own bank, Senator Lieu used our state's time and money and decided to go the "boutique" route, and thus he bestowed on this state a unique coterie of crafted laws.
Here's a song to celebrate his generosity, based on "The Twelve Days of Christmas", since "'tis the Season":
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, Senator Lieu gave to me:
12. Twelve Landlords Leaping -- (Since they must be willing to receive rent by check instead of the Internet
11. Eleven car salesmen hopping mad -- (since the interest rate cap will drive them out of business)
10. Ten Frustrated therapists  -- (they can no longer offer gay-aversion therapy to teenagers, who really need academic counseling because of school cuts)
9. Nine Sallow and Pale Ladies dancing -- (since minors can no longer use tanning salons)
8. Eight (and more) Special Interests a-Milking -- (the state dry, since the legislature pushes tax increases instead of spending cuts and budget reform)
7. Seven Microchips for Fido, Sparky and Mittens -- (for our pets, since they may pose a national security threat)
6. Six Pooches from the Pound -- (since we cannot purchase them in parking lots or in any other private venues, either)
5. Five Happy Sharks-- (because no one can have shark-fin soup)
4. Four Labeled Birds -- (since every restaurant must tell us if the food we eat is real or not)
3. Three times the Car Tax (Oh, wait, Lieu changed his mind on that one, for now)
2. Two Happy Bears  -- (since a hunter's micro-chipped bloodhounds can no longer hunt them)
1. And a State on the Brink of Chronic Collapse -- (complete with public sector unions serving their private interests at the expense of the public interest, higher taxes which cripple job growth and scare job creators, no movement toward a voucher program for our inner city youth, coupled with no comprehensive pension reform, and a still very prolix  tax code which provides an unsteady revenue stream for our anemic economy)
This year, when I look under the Sacramento Christmas Tree (or perhaps I should say "festive creature of an arboreal nature" so as not to offend activists in Santa Monica), I will pretend to have a happy face. I do not want a table lamp that looks like a leg, nor I do not want a BB rifle (not because I’m afraid to shoot my eye out, but rather because I fear that Senator Lieu will draft a ban on "assault weapons for kids”). Still, I wish that someone would shed some light on the waste and fraud in Sacramento and take a gun to the fiscal problems facing our state.
In the face of the upcoming 2012 Christmas Blues, I can smile and wait for two more years, when the voters of the 28th Senate District can give ourselves a better present: throwing out Senator Lieu and replacing him with a legislator who will tackle serious issues for our state.

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